Happy news!

Blog Drama, I tell you. Blog...Drama.

In unrelated news, I got my new computer today!!!!! I'm so excited I can't tell you. I seriously think I got the male gene that programs you to want / need any type of new electronic toy that you can waste hours of your life on...

And the *BIG* news of the day...my boss pretty much told me it was a done deal that they would hire me permanently!!!! He just came back from Kansas City today and asked if I'd heard any more from the recruiter, and when I said no, he was concerned and assured me that he had spoken to her and thought that the reason there was no sense of urgency for her is that they know they can't really hire me until my 90 days is up (which is approaching faster than I ever thought it would). So I deliberately threw out a comment that could be taken to mean I wasn't sure if my tenure there would continue, and he said, "Oh, absolutely. You're not going anywhere - don't even get that thought in your mind." And THEN he said, "I'll be sure to call her because there IS a sense of urgency...with the merger coming up, they're not going to let us hire anybody new and I want to make sure you're set here for good before the merger goes any further."

I cannot tell you how much relief I feel at this moment in time...

It just goes to show you - NEVER settle for anything, work hard, like what you do, and most of all, be happy. Good things will come to you.

Poll

Do you really think dog people can't live with cat people and vice versa? Where do you draw the line? If someone said "It's either me or the cat" - I just can't see myself ever giving Nemo up. Then that begs the question - well if someone even put you in that position, then they obviously aren't worth it anyway. You realize, of course, that this is purely hypothetical and I'm already worried about something that hasn't even happened yet....

And this, boys and girls, is what you call "neurotic..."

Shipping Rant

Honestly, what the hell is wrong with shipping companies these days? I had a slight altercation with FedEx a few weeks ago regarding needing signatures for delivery, and NOW, it looks like either Gateway or UPS has screwed up and is trying to deliver my computer to my house as opposed to my parents like it's SUPPOSED to go to. Do people not realize that I work all day - how the hell am I supposed to sign for something when I'm not there? I actually SPOKE to someone on the phone and explained that I was having it delivered to my parents because a) I wouldn't be home if I had to sign for it, and b) I don't trust my neighborhood to have something like that just sitting on my doorstep all day and not get messed with. In the words of Zuke:

GAH!!!

Sunny Days

It just occurred to me that my brother's wedding is only 4 months away...and I need to get back on the WW wagon. What with the new job and its related stress, and the fact that I don't have a WW buddy anymore, I have a sneaking hunch the pounds are stealthily creeping back onto my hips... The fact that it's a GORGEOUS day outside leads me to believe it's time to get back outside.

PROBLEM: The fact that my neighborhood, while not exactly the 'hood' or dangerous, is not the ideal place to get outside and exercise, being that it's KINDA the 'hood' and there are friggin' TONS of kids out and I hate being around masses of kids.

So - I'm looking for a solution - a place that is nice, free ($-wise and kid-wise) that is close to home that I can go to either early in the morning or after I get home from work. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Good Times

Zuke made a very good point last night - just because it's the middle of the week doesn't mean it's not okay to hang out. I admit, I am kind of stuck in this "weekends only" mentality, thinking there is no room for fun during the week when I have to wake up at 5:30 the next morning. But this is not true. We had a perfectly lovely evening last night and I still managed to get a full nights sleep.

And in a completely UNrelated story, I was listening to the weirdos on 99.5 a couple days ago and they had made this huge deal out of the fact that the female on the show who is 37 is now dating a 25 year old, and she was asking "Will a guy have less respect for you in the long run if you sleep with him on the first date?" Now, my first reaction was, "DUH!" But as people started to call in with their two cents, I start to realize that there's lots of easy people out there. I think the results were mixed... One woman called in and said that she did, but she is now married to the guy two years later. Another said she is still with the guy, but she catches him in chat rooms every once in a while looking for women... I don't know - the fact that she had to ask the question at all made me laugh.

Does anyone really care the Saddam Hussein's favorite junk food is Doritos?

How is it possible that 2 weeks ago I was putting in 12 hour days, and now, here it is 3:21pm and I have run out of work to do? It defies all logic. And there is nothing I hate more than being bored at work. It wouldn't be so bad if I had AIM and could chat with Froggy or Zuke, but I don't even have that! Grrrrr. So of course, I've been checking all my emails like 50 zillion times today... Maybe I'll call my mom and see if my computer has arrived yet...

Amazingly enough, the only person today to notice I colored my hair this weekend was a GUY. It slightly irritates me that I have inherited my mom's genes in that she started going gray in her 30's... Don't get me wrong, I love my parents (and thank goodness they don't know about this blog, and will hopefully never find it; oh yeah, Hi Mrs. Z!) but it's like I inherited the not-so-good genes from each of them. Instead of getting my dad's wonderful hair (in his mid-60's and has yet to start going gray) and my mom's wonderful complexion, I got the opposite. I know, I know, you're saying 'cry me a river.' Well, fine Justin Timberlake, I get your point. Of all people, I should be adamant in my stance that looks aren't everything. But I don't believe that. Yeah, Nemo has no sympathy for me, either...he's reached the psycho-cat part of the evening where he spends half an hour running from one end of the house to the other, chasing imaginary bugs and darting in and out of my closet, getting cat fur on all my clothes...

Man, the weekends just keep getting shorter and shorter...

After reading everyone's blogs for quite a while now, I have noticed something...people rarely say people's real names. It's like no one really exists...we're only given their first initial, or a cool nickname...and here I have been and am using everyone's real name. Am I doing something wrong? Why didn't anyone TELL me you're not supposed to reveal real people's names?!?!? Fine. I will succumb to peer pressure and start using fake names. I don't like the whole initial thing - seeing as my job is to create agent codes, I shall start making up random nicknames for people...aka CODE names...

Wow - I just bought myself a new computer. Why do I tend to buy really expensive things on impulse? Must be my Gemini personality. Once I get an idea in my head (or someone else puts it there - and you know who you are), chances are I won't be happy until I've gone through with it.

Ah, well - new computers are fun - and what's the point in making lots of money at your new job if you don't invest it in something useful? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I went to sleep at 8:30 last night...and didn't wake up until 5:30 this morning. I didn't even eat dinner last night, and I wasn't hungry this morning. Does that mean there's something wrong with me? I really hope I'm not getting sick. Although I feel kinda sick. Not sick really, just...run-down. Maybe that's it. Every morning, even if I slept a full 8 hours, I find myself almost falling asleep in the car. Which is not good, if you drive on 66 every morning from Centreville to the beltway and beyond. And to top it off, my house is a complete mess because I'm too tired and lazy to clean up at night when I get home from work.

Anyhow, the reason I'm blogging at work is because I've run into a slight snag in the compensation acknowledgement process, and was waiting for Sandra to come help, and she just called, so now I have to go back to work.

Hello another 12 hour day....

So last night I went to the "Grand Opening" of my former company. I must admit I was quite surprised to see they had some class; it was catered and there was a wine tasting thing going on, too. Of course, the best was when the pres. came up to me and said, "How's the new job going?" to which I replied, "It's absolutely PERFECT, I couldn't be happier!!!"

Strangely, he didn't say anything else to me for the rest of the evening.

Unfortunately, by the time I got home it was after 9pm and missed Matt's "CENSORED" evening, even though he emailed me twice (AFTER I left work, of course, so I didn't see it until this morning). I felt bad, I should have gone out anyway, even if I was tired. What with my job taking up all the free time in my life and him moving to DC in the fall, I have a feeling that the times we see each other are going to become few and far between. :(

And on that depressing note, it's time to pay all my bills...

I hate it when I can't think of anything interesting to say. The most exciting thing that's happened recently was me arguing over email with FedEx whether they could deliver something I ordered with or without a signature. Apparently they compromised; I signed the thing they stick on the door saying 'sorry we missed you,' and the driver left the box out in the downpour outside. Which is always SO considerate when it's STEREO EQUIPMENT. Sure - leave it out in the rain - it'll be FINE...

Did you know that my office is immediately next door to the Homeland Security building? Well, it is, and George decided to visit this morning - it's a little unnerving to see snipers on the roof of the next building over, and helicopters circling the area...

Overworking?

I was called a workaholic today.

Just because you work a few 12 hour days - okay, 6 - in a 3 week time frame...geez. There's work to be done!

Does anyone else think I'm a workaholic? (And no, Nemo, you're not allowed to answer that.)

Dammit

I know it's so horrible of me to think this way, but I'm SOOOOOO irritated that my former office has not fallen apart from me leaving. So childish, I know. Apparently my replacement has been holding the fort down sufficiently. "Nothing spectacular," but fine nevertheless. Ah, well - I should take comfort in the fact that I'm in a much better place making more money. And after all, my former co-workers are taking me out to dinner on Thursday I think in honor of my birthday! See? They still love me...

Clearing the Air

Wow - Matt wasn't kidding when he said there are unexpected consequences to blogging. I made a flip comment on his blog about it, but a few days later, I realize I must retract it because it is apparently more serious than I thought.

First of all, let me thank EVERYONE for their wonderful and heartfelt birthday wishes!!! I only wish I could have spent some time with y'all today - but I'm sure we'll get together soon.

Now, onto the meat of the post...

Apparently, there are many more people who read my blog than I realized. People I've known for years, but over the years, our lives have gone in different directions and the times we see each other are few and far between.

This is not because I do not consider these people my friends anymore.

Let me say that again. This is NOT because I do not consider these people my friends anymore.

The truth of the matter is that each and every one of us has changed. I did not push these people away, and if anyone thinks that then I'm sorry, but you're wrong, and if you don't think you're wrong, then it was certainly not my intention for you to feel that way. If you weren't there a few years ago, I went through some really rough months of which I almost didn't make it out of alive. HA! Melodrama, anyone? But it's true. By recovering from that episode of my life, my entire perspective on life in general and myself in particular has changed and I have definitely become a different person; hopefully a better person.

That being said, one core aspect of my personality has not changed, and that is that I don't reach out to people. I'm usually NOT the first one to pick up the phone or send an email, or whatever. That's just who I am. I'm not trying to be mean, or nasty, or deliberately exclusive. But I am the type of person who can be completely content and happy staying at home playing video games, watching chick flicks, playing on the computer, or chillin' with my cat; in essence forgetting the ouside world exists for short periods of time. However, if you email me, I will respond. If you call me (and I'm home and don't have a lap full of cat) I'll answer the phone. If you IM me, I will chat with you for as long as you'll put up with my long winded tales of how my new job is going and how happy I am that I made this switch in my career. If I don't reach out, if I'm not the one initiating contact, it's not because I hate you. It's basically because I generally just don't think to reach out to people. I assume that they're busy, or on a deeper level, I'm afraid to reach out on the off chance of rejection; that they don't want to talk to me (and yes, me and my therapist are working on my negative self-image).

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that the responsibility lies only with you to make contact with me. That's not true. I just don't want people to think that I'm snubbing them because I don't call every other day. That's just not what I do, and besides, I hate the phone. I prefer email.

So what am I really trying to say? I'm sorry if you feel that I have forgotten you, or neglected you, or somehow seriously hurt your feelings by something I've written, or something I've done or haven't done. But with all due respect, I will also say that everything I say here comes from my heart, I mean every bit of it, and I will not apologize for who I am or how I feel.

Quite a reflection to have on one's birthday. I feel that I'm reaching a point in my life where things are starting to come together, that I'm finally pushing myself in a direction I want to go, and am finally achieving happiness.

And I sincerely only wish the same clarity and happiness for everyone else around me.

Another 12 hour day. Kind of sucks when you don't get paid overtime because of the holiday that you won't get paid for because you're a contractor...them's the breaks, though - right?

Crap - my life is starting to revolve around my job again...never mind the fact that this job at least is WORTH it. I shall have to find ways to fill my personal time.

Oooo - I remembered this morning that I missed my annual visit to the Baltimore Aquarium (my favorite place on earth) last year. Usually I try to go in June for my birthday. Anyway, I REFUSE to not go this year...so if anyone is interested, I am definitely going to make a point to visit this summer at least once! They have special events that I have never done, but would love to try - like their overnight stays or the adults only night. I shall have to start planning...

I am now an official "NON-EMPLOYEE" of Nextel...seriously, that's what my badge says. Makes me laugh. But still - now I get to park in the parking garage! Woohoo! Okay, maybe not cause for serious celebration, but kinda cool nevertheless.

It's gonna be another LATE night; and it turns out that Sandra typically puts in 60 hour weeks...and I'm taking over her position...hm...I don't think anyone told me that when I signed up for this gig. What's the point of making lots of money if you don't have any free time to spend it? We shall see how it unfolds...